As a parent you analyze everything your child does. 

“Aidan can figure out how anything works…he’s going to be an engineer.”

“Did you see the way he scribbled outside the lines?  He’s the next Kandinsky for sure!”

“Katie is indestructible…I bet she’ll be a roller derby queen.”

But ultimately you just want them to be happy, successful and leave their mark on the world. 

As for Aidan, he’s busy leaving his mark on the play-doh of the world…spurred on by daddy showing him how to make handprints.

And this one…oh, she’ll go places.  It’s only fair to leave your mark on the world when it keeps leaving it’s mark on you.

I can’t believe my little boy is 3 years old today.  I’ve always been a big believer that the odd-numbered years are always harder to turn and I find it no different when my own child is doing so.  (Then again, ask me again when I turn 30 in July…it will most likely be an exception to my rule.)  As the oldest child, Aidan faces the joy of being the first to reach milestones and to have me cry like a baby at said milestones. 

Everyone tells you about how much your life changes when you have a kid but you don’t understand it until you’re there.  I will never sleep as soundly, nor as much, as I once did.  I will forever have someone else’s best interests in mind before my own.  I am forever changed.

Aidan has grown into such a little boy.  He knows what he likes and what he doesn’t and if every meal could consist of chicken and fries, he’d be happy.  He likes anything and everything Disney which at the moment especially includes anything involving Toy Story and Cars.  He loves books, anything electronic, playing on the top bunk and music.  He’s a gentle soul, loves his “BeeBee”, and while he may steal her pacifier (bubba), he’s the first to announce, “BeeBee’s crying!” and stick the bubba in her mouth.  He’s a joy and a blessing and while he has his moments of stubbornness and fits, we wouldn’t change him one bit. 

Happy 3rd Birthday Aidan!  We love you!

Out of the mouths of babes…

Jamie and I had been concerned about Aidan’s speech since he turned about 2.  He would say things, but only one word phrases and although he had a large vocabulary, none of the words were really being put together.  It seems however in the last month that things are clicking and while he still isn’t where we feel he should be, he’s getting there!  He’ll be starting pre-school at Alyce Taylor Elementary after his birthday (which is in 12 days!) and although I am having a hard time with it, I keep reminding myself he’ll probably thrive in the school environment.  He’s a bright kid (everyone has told us over and over again his speech is definitely NOT an issue of intelligence) and he loves projects, activities and structure. 

Needless to say, with the newfound ability to communicate (and repeat EVERYTHING we say now) we’ve had some pretty interesting conversations. 

For instance I was trying to get the kids ready so I could drop them off and head to school.  Aidan meanwhile was playing on his top bunk while Katie played on the floor. 

Aidan-(from the top bunk) Come on BeeBee…climb, climb!

Me-No, Aidan.  Bee can’t play up there.  She’s too little.

Aidan-No, it’s [Katie] big!  Come on BeeBee!  Up!

Meanwhile Aidan has climbed down the ladder somehow thinking he’ll get Bee to climb up after him.

Aidan-Come on BeeBee.  Let’s go!

Me-No, Aidan, Bee’s too little.  She can’t play up there.

Aidan (pulling on my arm)-Come on big mama!

Obviously I AM big enough for the top bunk.  Lacking a little more self-esteem, but definitely big enough.

I’m pretty good at translating Aidan’s language.  A lot of his words have become insanely clear.  Milk, which used to be “muh” (along with about 30 other things) is now “mee-ilk” or sometimes, “milk-y” when he’s feeling sassy.  Occasionally it takes him repeating himself 2 or 3 times before I catch on, but usually I can decipher him.  That is, until, “Ispet”. 

We always cut across the high school parking lot on our way home from the sitter’s because it is shorter.  At the stop sign at the end of the parking lot we turn left up Eagle Canyon to head home.  About a month ago Aidan started saying, “Ispet.  Ispet.” when we would be at the stop sign and then graduated to, “Ispet, or ispet?  Yes!”.  Try as I might I could not figure out what he was saying.  On Monday Jamie picked up the kids and Aidan did the same thing at the same place but Jamie had no idea what in the world he was saying either.

The following day we were coming across the high school parking lot and Katie was fussing.  At the stop sign I turned around to reach for her pacifier when I watched Aidan point up and down Eagle Canyon saying, “Ispet, or Ispet?  Yes!”…and it clicked. 

Thank you Mickey Mouse. 

Mickey and friends are ALWAYS finding themselves at a crossroads and don’t know which way to turn.  Sometimes it’s a color pattern that guides the way (don’t all roads have shapes and patterns on them?) and other times you need the help of a mouseketool.  (Oh Toodles!)  Not me.  I have Aidan.  All of a sudden it clicked with me that he points one way, “This path?” and then the other, “Or this path?” and when he decides which way we should go he points and answers with an emphatic, “YES!”  He’s like my own personal GPS unit.

The last month has been FILLED with accomplishments for Aidan.  We’re getting so many sentences from him and just tonight when I told him I loved him, he whispered under his breath, “Merry Christmas.”

…you can’t always be perfect.

I’m a big sap. 

I’m the person that gets emotional when leaving a vacation.  Deep down inside part of me is thinking, “Will I ever see this place again?”  It has been really hard the few times I’ve been blessed to travel overseas.  As homesick as I was at some points living in Italy I was an emotional wreck when I left, watching out the window from the plane until I could no longer see the foreign soil that had, for a time, become home.  Landmarks make me melancholy too.  I remember leaving Pompeii with Jamie wondering sadly if I’d ever be back to see the ruins ever again and stealing one last glimpse of the Mole in Torino.  As a child I remember leaving the Oregon coast and watching the ocean until I couldn’t see it anymore.  To me it’s like a rare and precious jewel I want to hold on to and look at for as long as I can. 

I picked up the kids this evening and we took our usual “holiday route” back home through the neighborhood to look at the lights and found myself all sentimental again.  There is such a build-up to the holidays and then all at once it’s over.  Only a few houses still turn on their Christmas lights (mine included…I’ll keep turning them on until Jamie tells me to give it up) and my houseguests are gone which makes the end of the holidays seem that much more final.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed the holidays this year.  Aidan was so into uwrapping presents that he even started unwrapping presents for others.  Katie Bee seemed into the whole thing as well, walking all around the house with her new baby stroller and just generally being her joyful self.  It’s just sad when I am reminded that it will be another year before the house lights are on again, the Christmas tree is sparkling with lights and ornaments and my beloved nativity and Christmas village are out. (the latter two which weren’t this year due to my stressing over finals)

So, with another 360 days to wait (much less if you count the fact that many stores start hyping Christmas at Halloween anymore and I can guarantee you my tree will be up within a week after Thanksgiving) I’ll have to bask in the memories that were this Christmas; Katie’s first…spent with a skinned-up nose from a Christmas Eve-morning wrapping paper tub accident, Aidan so into unwrapping and playing with everything, playing cards with the family, good food and great company. 

Good thing I have the Thomas the train tunnel/tent to keep me occupied for another year.  Thanks Uncle Ryan and Uncle Phil. (Seriously, watching and listening to those two play together in that thing warms my heart…)

***Warning–Picture overload ahead

I’m grateful for:

• my family (immediate, extended and “adopted”)
• friends
• hot soup on a cold day
• the opportunity to go to nursing school
• a wonderful husband who is supporting me (emotionally, financially, …) and believes in me in said nursing school endeavor
• sleeping in…until 7:00
• pizza
• hugs
• kisses
• completed A&P homework
• bedtime
• health
• garlic bread
• double strollers
• diet cherry vanilla dr. pepper
• date nights
• non-school books
• Facebook
• digital cameras
• memories
• family time
• chocolate milk
• bleach
• Disney movies
• a snuggly little girl
• love
• heavy quilts
• new opportunities
• having only one child in diapers
• kisses from my little guy
• heated seats
• music
• laughter
• chocolate chip cookies
• lazy days
• friendship
• marriage
• good grades
• Sonic
• travel
• weekends
• life…

What are you thankful for?

Pictures to share, but no inspiration with words.  Enjoy!

7 months old and officially crawling

Photo-shoot with the Sei fam at the Nevada campus

Nevada campus…enjoying the leaves

My little Bee…and her first ponytail!

…and to top it off, the rotten little boy who refused to wear his homemade musketeer costume until the day AFTER Halloween.  Guess we should have let him go trick-or-treating in his undies.

I find myself saying that a lot lately. 

A wise woman once told me, that her wise mother told her when you find yourself hoping  praying for a “phase” to be over, you’ll just find your child in yet another phase.  Yes, my readers, I have FINALLY realized that life is just one big string of “phases”. 

Needless to say, life has found our precious Aidan and Katie both in challenging phases simultaneously. 

Our independent little Aidan has been extra stubborn, testing boundaries, taking forever to go to sleep at night and overall just wanting things HIS way or not at all.  I know someday some of these will be beneficial qualities for him but at the moment they are not beneficial qualities for US.  I find myself thinking, “I can’t wait until he gets out of this phase” but then I find myself wondering if this one is better than the next.  The unknown is slightly frightening.  Also, I’m feeling guilty because I can barely take pictures of him nowadays without him putting his hand in front of the camera like I’m paparazzi.  But, when you tuck yourself underneath a Rubbermaid tote, pictures are permissible.

Katie is another story.  She’s been scooting all around the floor since mid-August, but now she’s up on all fours and although she’s not quite “crawling” yet, she’s darn close.  She’s in to everything; Aidan’s train set, the dog, the cats….whatever she can get to (which is pretty much everything).  But that’s not the bad part.  I always assumed that Aidan never hit that separation anxiety phase because he’d gone to the babysitter’s from such an early age and realized that while we left, we always came back.  Obviously, that’s not the “cure”.  Or at least it hasn’t helped Katie.  She can be happily playing in the living room, but the instant you walk out (even if her back is turned) she loses it.  The funny thing is, the instant you are back in her line of sight, she’s all smiles.  It makes for some interesting evenings cooking dinner with a baby on my hip.

She only LOOKS sweet and innocent

Acting surprised after being caught stealing Aidan’s chocolate chip cookie.

As always though at the end of the day when I look at my peaceful, sleeping angels I am reminded of how blessed I am to be able to witness all their phases…good AND bad.

1. Katie is on the move.  For probably a month now she has been scooting her way around the floor.  Not up on all fours crawling, but she can definitely get to where she wants to go.  She’s a little ahead of Aidan, but considering fact #2, we’re not surprised.

2. She is more motivated than Aidan ever was/is.  She has got such a stubborn, intrigued, independent personality.  She watches Aidan and you can just see the longing in her eyes to be doing EVERYTHING he’s doing…right now.  She’s trying to grow up a little quicker than I’d like her to and while at times her stubborn personality can be frustrating, I know it’s going to be an asset to her in the future.

3. Whereas she was an easy-going baby the first few months of life, that has quickly changed.  Maybe Jamie and I jinxed it when we discovered she was just as easy, if not easier in some ways, as a newborn as Aidan and voiced our joy to others.  Well, her stubborn personality has emerged and that has all quickly changed.  She can be THE sweetest, most loving, happy child one minute and a velociraptor-like squealing devil-child the next.  For example, Saturday  at Old Navy she went from happy baby to baby-who-needed-to-be-out-of-her carseat-this-instant and was not going to stop screaming (and hitting daddy’s last nerve) until she was home.  Katie knows how to manipulate to get what she wants and she is good.  I truly think her most favorite person to manipulate is her daddy.  He is fully aware of it, but I think he secretly likes it.  The older she gets (and the more I wish, as the mother of a “momma’s boy”) I believe she is turning into a “daddy’s girl”. 

4. She will NOT sleep just anywhere.  I think back to Aidan at three weeks old sleeping through a very raucous Nevada basketball game.  We’re not that lucky with Katie.  She’ll fall asleep in her car seat but the instant you get her out of the car her eyes shoot open.  She’ll fall asleep in her swing but the instant she hears Aidan’s or her daddy’s voice, she’s wide awake.  Katie sleeps best in her crib, away from all things that will distract her from sleeping.  Makes for some interesting outings.

5. She idolizes her brother.  Katie watches EVERYTHING Aidan does.  She plays with the toys Aidan plays with.  I envision her being the tag-along little sister once she figures out how to walk…a milestone I am terrified might come earlier than I expect.  They like to “wrestle” with one another and if Aidan stops Katie will grab at him.  She’s quite the little instigator.  When they get to belly-laughing with one another I have scary flash forwards to them creating mischief together and my visions usually involve scissors, crayons and/or the toilet.  I love being a mother of two because even though there’s more stress, laundry and toys to put away, watching them interact is one of the most rewarding feelings…it makes my heart melt.

6. Katie has two birthmarks.  Okay, aside from the numerous little “stork bites” that still occasionally pop up when she is having a meltdown, she has two “real” birthmarks.  One is on the side of her right hand and is usually very red or purple.  We’ve been told it will most likely not go away and will grow proportionally with her hand.  I love it.  I love it because it’s hers and it makes her unique.  Maybe it’s a little easier for me to “accept” because I’ve kind of grown up with a mark of my own but I still think I’d love it no matter what.  We didn’t even notice it until she was a couple days old and we thought it was a bruise…but I told Jamie that from experience, growing up with it is going to make her not care at all. 

Her other birthmark is on one of her lower legs (for the life of me I have no idea if it’s right or left) and is more like an extra-tan spot.  It showed up just recently and is similar to the birthmark that Aidan had show up after a few months. 

I’m sure there will be more ”facts” to post about Katie as time progresses.  Each day seems to bring a new adventure with these two.

                              Six months old!!

                                        Playing with brother’s cars.

                                        Katie the instigator…

                                    I think she’s winning.

…more pics to come of Aidan’s cooking skills.

No one prepares you for the fact that from the instant you become a parent, you are doomed to spend the rest of your existence feeling like a failure mixed in with occasionally feeling like a parenting god/goddess. 

Oh how I love those goddess moments. 

Those are the moments when my kids are clean, happy and fed and my house is immaculate in a state slightly better than disarray, the days we’ve strayed from the normal routine and played at the waterpark, gone on a McDonald’s roadtrip or some other adventure.

I have a nemesis down the street.  She IS Supermom.  She is unaware of her nemesis status, but let me tell you, that woman shows me up all the time.  Wearing her Scout mom uniform, effortlessly wrangling her 14 (0kay, so maybe it’s only like 4) children, riding her bike uphill (both ways) with the baby strapped on the back.  I try to remind myself that I’m about 90% sure one set of grandparents lives with them so she has extra help, but it’s tough when she’s posting flyers for her family’s spring musical (okay, maybe I’m exaggerating again).

My kids are always clean, unless they’re playing in a mud puddle.  They’re loved more than anything in the world, unless they’re coloring on the couch with crayon and they’re always well fed…unless it’s rib cook-off night and Aidan’s dinner consists of a churro and a chocolate covered marshmallow.

I’d been working on this post for a couple of days, unsure of how it would end–but tonight I came to an important realization.  As Aidan was dancing erratically around the living room in nothing but his Buzz Lightyear undies singing “Life is a Highway” yelling to Katie in the bouncer, “BeeBee, are you singing?!” it hit me.  Worrying about my shortcomings as a parent is what makes me a good parent.  Making up for not being the mom that has organized crafting time each day and who doesn’t always have time for meals from scratch in other ways is perfectly fine.  So, my children won’t be making their own pottery and they may eat frozen waffles for breakfast, but dammit, they’ll be dancing and singing in their undies! 

As I watched Aidan dance over to Katie for the 5th time to ask loudly again if she was singing, the uncontrollable laughter coming from both their bellies made me grin.

It’s moments like that when my heart swells, a smile grows on my face and in that moment I know…I AM a parenting goddess…I AM Supermom.

It’s nearly impossible to get a good picture of this guy nowadays!